When Beca Doesn't Sing in the Shower
by CelestialCall
Summary: One-shot. Beca always sings in the shower...right? Chloe's worried when she doesn't hear Beca sing. Established Triple Treble. No smut. Trigger warning: self-injury.


_Author's Note: So, I've read a lot here, and decided to try out writing one of my own, since I couldn't get this idea out of my head, even though I normally ship Bechloe. Trigger warning for self-injury, if you missed that part of the summary._

_Disclaimer: Pitch Perfect doesn't belong to me. I'm just borrowing it.  
_

-xXx-

"Graduation is going to be so much fun!" Chloe said, as Aubrey opened the door to their shared apartment.

"Says you! You don't have to make a speech in front of everybody!" a nervous Aubrey protested.

"Well, that's what you get for being valedictorian. But seriously, Aubrey, tomorrow's going to be fine."

"I hope you're right. It's just, my dad is going to be there, and I just don't want to disappoint him..."

"Hush. You won't disappoint. Besides, after 4 years of the Bellas, and winning the ICCAs this year, you should be used to speaking in public by now. No more stage fright for you, Aubrey Posen!" Chloe proclaimed, pulling her girlfriend in for a kiss, to which Aubrey happily acquiesced.

"Hey. Do you hear that?" Aubrey asked, as they broke apart.

"What?"

"It sounds like water running."

"It's probably just Beca, taking a shower," Chloe said, referencing their other girlfriend. "We did give her a key a while back. Wouldn't you rather be at your awesome girlfriends' off-campus apartment than sharing a room with Kimmy Jin of the death-glare?"

Aubrey laughed. "True."

"Maybe we should go join her?" Chloe asked, eyes darkening.

"Still barging into other people's showers?" Aubrey asked, raising one perfect eyebrow.

"Well, it's had good results in the past!" Chloe said, defending herself.

"I guess I can't argue with results. You go ahead, if you want. Our shower is nowhere near big enough for three."

"We could make it work, Bree..." Chloe pleaded.

"Yeah, I remember the last time you said that. My bruises remember, thank you very much."

"You're not still bruised!"

"My body still remembers beings bruised!" Aubrey protested.

"Fine." Chloe said. She started walking towards the bathroom door. But something seemed off, and she couldn't put a finger on it until...

"Bree?"

"I told you, no."

"Not that. Beca's not singing. She always sings in the shower." Aubrey joined her in the hallway.

"Huh. You're right. That's weird."

Chloe went over to the bathroom door and knocked. "Beca?" she called softly. No answer. She tried the door and it was locked. This was concerning. Reading her mind, Aubrey went into their bedroom and grabbed a metal hanger. It was a matter of seconds to pop the lock on the door, and Chloe slipped inside. "Beca?" she called again. Still no answer. The shower was definitely running, but Chloe couldn't see the outline of Beca's body behind the shower curtain. She opened up the curtain.

"Bree!" she called, panicked, as she reached down to Beca. Aubrey came in. They saw Beca curled up in the fetal position on the floor of the bathtub, and their hearts jointly skipped a beat when they noticed that the water running down the drain was tinged red.

"Oh my god, Beca!" Still no answer. Without heeding the cascade of water or her clothed status, Chloe clambered into the tub with Beca, pulling the smaller girl's unprotesting form into her arms. She noticed then the x-acto knife in Beca's right hand, and the horizontal cuts on her left arm and both thighs. She tried to pull the blade from Beca's hand, but Beca had a death grip on it. Finally, Chloe won out and she tossed the blade across the floor. Aubrey was turning off the shower, and she handed Chloe a washcloth to use to staunch the blood coming from Beca's wounds. Chloe pressed it to the ones on Beca's forearm. The ones of her thighs didn't look that bad, but the fact that Beca had done it to herself was worrying. They exchanged a worried glance. Aubrey left, as Chloe continued to just hold the near-catatonic girl, and came back with towels and a first-aid kit.

"Do we need to call 911?" Aubrey asked softly. Beca started to struggle in Chloe's arms.

"No," she whispered, pleading softly. It was the first word she had spoken.

Chloe looked at her, and asked the question she didn't want to ask in the softest, warmest, gentlest, most calming voice possible. "Did you just try to kill yourself, Beca?" Beca shook her head no. Chloe and Aubrey breathed identical sighs of relief. They had seen the old scars on Beca's body, but Beca had assured them that she no longer was cutting. Apparently, she had relapsed. They also knew that Beca was probably smart enough to cut vertically down her forearm if she had really intended to die.

Chloe looked at Aubrey. "I think we can take of this ourselves. Calling 911 will only traumatize her." Aubrey nodded. With Aubrey pulling from the front, and Chloe supporting from behind, they got Beca seated on the edge of the bathtub. They draped her in towels, and Aubrey rubbed her dry, while Chloe treated the wounds. Chloe was very thankful at that moment for the advanced first-aid training she had taken. The pressure had caused the wounds to stop bleeding, and she cleaned and disinfected them, before covering them with steri-strips and gauze and wrapping them in a clean gauze roll. The ones of her thighs weren't more than scratches, but the angry red lines spelled words that broke both girls' hearts. Worthless. Useless. Unwanted. Fuck up. Failure. Unlovable. Abandoned. Chloe rubbed some antibiotic cream on them, just to be on the safe side, but didn't bother wrapping them up.

"She needs dry clothes, and so do you," Aubrey said. "Go get dried off and changed. I'll take this from here."

"You're not completely dry yourself."

"I'm more dry than you are. Go. When you're finished, I'll change." Chloe nodded and left the bathroom, unshed tears in her eyes. Later, she would cry. Now, she had to be strong. For Beca. What the hell had happened to get her here?

"Beca," Aubrey said gently, after finishing drying the girl. "We need to get some clothes on you before you freeze to..." she trailed off, not wanting to say that particular word to Beca right now. Beca stayed silent. Aubrey pulled her to her feet, still wrapped in towels. She slung Beca's right arm around her neck, and supported the shaking girl to the bedroom, where Chloe was just finishing putting on pajamas and drying off her hair. She sat Beca on the bed, and left her there as she fumbled through Beca's drawer for clothes, finally pulling out underwear, a pair of sleep shorts, and a big t-shirt. When she turned around, Chloe was seated next to Beca, supporting her on one side. They dressed Beca, who was still in a near-catatonic state that worried both girls. Chloe surreptitiously checked Beca's pulse at her wrist, and counted her breathing. They were both within normal limits, and Chloe felt slightly relieved. Whatever this was, it was in her mind, and her body was not too harmed by her actions of earlier. Otherwise, they would have had to bring Beca to the hospital, if her vital signs were weird. Even so, she hoped they had made the right choice not to involve professionals. She took over dressing Beca from Aubrey, beckoning Aubrey to find a change of clothes for herself. Aubrey quickly stripped off her wet clothes and pulled on pajamas too. They climbed into bed, curling up on either side of Beca, waiting and taking comfort in each other.

After what seemed like hours, though all three girls were still awake, a small, tenuous voice broke the silence. "How was your graduation rehearsal?" The words shocked Chloe and Aubrey. They had completely forgotten that that was where they had been earlier today.

Aubrey found her voice first. "Fine. Whatever. That doesn't matter. You scared the hell out of us, Beca. What happened?"

Beca started to cry, and tried to pull away and hide her tears with her hands. But two sets of hands held her back, and two sets of arms hugged her close. "Don't hide from us, sweets. You don't ever have to hide. And you don't have to handle this alone. We're here. Just talk to us," Chloe said, hugging Beca tight to her front while Aubrey held her from behind.

"I'm sorry," she sobbed. The front of another one of Chloe's shirts was getting soaked, this time from Beca's tears, but she didn't care. "I'm a horrible person. I shouldn't have done this to you. You deserve better than me. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Listen to me, Beca." That was Aubrey, in her captain's voice, but the gentlest either girl had ever heard it. "You are NOT a horrible person. You are not. Don't ever say otherwise. I wouldn't let anyone else say that about you, so you can't either."

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so so so sorry."

"It's okay, Beca. It's okay. There's nothing to be sorry for. Just tell us what happened, so we can help you."

"Why? Why must you make this harder? Why did you make me love you? Just leave me already!" The raw pain in her voice was evident.

They hugged her tighter. "We're not leaving you. We're not going anywhere. We love you," Chloe said.

"Chloe's right, Beca," Aubrey added. "We love you."

Beca started struggling against their holds, but they just held on tighter, hoping she wouldn't hurt herself fighting against them. "Everybody always leaves me! Nobody stays. And now, you're graduating, and you're going off and doing great things, and that's great but I'll be here, alone." She stopped struggling, spent, but her sobs increased in intensity.

Chloe and Aubrey shared a look filled with meaning and regret. They had it all planned out, a surprise for after graduation, when they would tell Beca their plans. Now, it seemed, none of this would have happened if they had only spoken sooner.

Aubrey spoke first. "I was going to surprise you later, but I got accepted into law school." Beca sniffed and tried to pull away, but Aubrey held her close. "Here. At Barden. I'm not going anywhere." Beca froze. Had she heard her right?

Chloe spoke next. "I'm not leaving either. I got into the Master's in Psychology program. Here. At Barden. I'm not going anywhere." She purposely repeated Bree's words, just to make the point.

"What?" Beca breathed.

"We were going to tell you after graduation tomorrow. We had a big surprise all planned out, and we were going to ask you to move into the apartment with us for next year. Then we were going to have a graduation party with the rest of the Bella's afterwards, but it was going to be a party for us, too."

"Really?" Beca still couldn't believe it.

"Better believe it." Aubrey said. "You're stuck with us. We're, uh, sorry we didn't tell you sooner."

"Yeah, Becs. We're the ones who should be sorry."

Beca grabbed them both to her, pulling them so close that it was hard to tell where each girl ended and another started. "Seeing your graduation gowns earlier, it just hit me, like a punch in the gut. You were graduating, you were done with Barden, done with the Bellas, done with me. You were off to do amazing things. I couldn't handle it. This is exactly why I always pushed people away. So I wouldn't get hurt. Everybody always leaves me. But you two wouldn't let me push you away, and that fucking scares me."

"We still are graduating", Chloe said. "We still are going to do amazing things, because, well, we're just amazing people But we aren't leaving Barden, hell we're probably still continue to bother the Bellas, and we definitely aren't leaving you!" she said, kissing Beca's forehead.

"Oh, we'll definitely still continue to bother the Bellas. You'll fall apart at the seams if I'm-" Chloe poked her in the stomach "-we're- not there to keep you all together."

Beca giggled. It was a weak giggle, but it made both girls' heart glad to hear. Things were going to be better. They knew the whole cutting thing still had to be addressed, that even putting temporary rest to Beca's fears wouldn't make everything better, but that giggle was a start.

It had been a long day for everyone, and so the girls fell asleep, cuddled up in each other's arms, Beca comfortably sandwiched between the two who loved her and who promised never to leave her.


End file.
